Segment #1: The Djerba Island Ferry
This part of the journey began at 4:00am from Gabes. To get to Djerba (where my regional flight was departing), one must take a ferry, or drive 120 kilometers out of the way to a bridge. Thankfully the queue for the ferry was not long and we managed to secure a place on board behind a truck full of cranky dairy cows and next to a man in a truck who wouldn’t stop staring/smiling at me. An old man on the ferry was selling concessions: hard-boiled eggs (with which I was impressed to note he offered ground black pepper), chewing gum, and some pre-packaged cakes. All the things you might wish to indulge in on a 6:30am, 20-minute ferry ride. I, having a tiny bladder and no common sense, decide that the ferry, opposed to the public restroom by which we waited for over 30 minutes to board the ferry, was a perfect place for me to use the ladies room. How bad could it be, I thought. So I ventured out of the car. Past the smiling man eating hard-boiled eggs, and around the truck of dairy cows waiting to crap on me, and over to the concessions man who was now seated by what I thought was the only toilet. Yes, it had what could have been a man, or a gender-neutral figure, painted on it, but I figured (1) surely there are not two separate toilets on this ferry, and (2) if I attempt to enter the men’s toilet, surely someone will stop me. But, the concessions man helped me open the door into what I can only describe as shit hell. Imagine (or don’t) a squatty potty, with no running water, and used by men eating hard-boiled eggs on a ferry. Well, I had to pee, so I went with it. The stench stayed with me for 30 minutes, but the memories will last a lifetime. I learned upon our exit from the ferry that there was indeed a women’s toilet which I am sure had running water and fresh-cut flowers inside.
Segment #2: From Djerba to Tunis, by Plane
Things that make you wonder about the safety/security of your flight:
1. The sign over the Djerba Zarzis airport reads “ JERBA ZAR IS”
2. (Note: This is a small, old airplane with propellers.) The stewardess gets up from her take-off position and cannot open the storage/cockpit door because some baggage in the storage area has shifted upon take-off.
3. Mid-flight, some guy in plain clothes walks up to the cockpit door, opens it, goes inside, and apparently hangs out in the cockpit for a while.
Segment #3: The Tunis Airport
Everyone is smoking when there are clearly posted signs advising against it and regular recorded announcements “reminding you that smoking is strictly prohibited inside the terminal.”
My flight is departing from Gate 50. I roll into Gate 50 and everyone is staring at me. I look at the board and it says Benghazi. A guy behind me laughs and says “Libya! Libya!”. I turn and scamper away back into the smoke cloud. Indeed my flight is departing from Gate 50 and eventually it shows up on the board. The Benghazi flight is just delayed by four hours.
While the Benghazians are boarding, I hear shouted out from across the gate “Allahu Akbar.” For a moment, I wait for my end. Then I realized it was just a religious man encouraging others to come pray with him.
Segment #4: From Tunis to Cairo, by Plane
Surprise, no one wants to fly to Cairo in an impending military coup. I relax with a row to myself.
Segment #5: The Cairo Airport
Actually, it was not as crowded as I expected. I enjoyed observing a flashy, hairless Egyptian man with more buttons undone than done on his crisp, white shirt as he hit on a similarly classy lady at the airport bar.
Segment #6: From Cairo to Doha, by Plane
An actual surprise, even in an impending military coup, no one wants to take a flight from Cairo departing at 11:15pm and arriving at 3:30am. I relax with a row to myself.
Segment #7: Doha
It’s like really hot.
This part of the journey began at 4:00am from Gabes. To get to Djerba (where my regional flight was departing), one must take a ferry, or drive 120 kilometers out of the way to a bridge. Thankfully the queue for the ferry was not long and we managed to secure a place on board behind a truck full of cranky dairy cows and next to a man in a truck who wouldn’t stop staring/smiling at me. An old man on the ferry was selling concessions: hard-boiled eggs (with which I was impressed to note he offered ground black pepper), chewing gum, and some pre-packaged cakes. All the things you might wish to indulge in on a 6:30am, 20-minute ferry ride. I, having a tiny bladder and no common sense, decide that the ferry, opposed to the public restroom by which we waited for over 30 minutes to board the ferry, was a perfect place for me to use the ladies room. How bad could it be, I thought. So I ventured out of the car. Past the smiling man eating hard-boiled eggs, and around the truck of dairy cows waiting to crap on me, and over to the concessions man who was now seated by what I thought was the only toilet. Yes, it had what could have been a man, or a gender-neutral figure, painted on it, but I figured (1) surely there are not two separate toilets on this ferry, and (2) if I attempt to enter the men’s toilet, surely someone will stop me. But, the concessions man helped me open the door into what I can only describe as shit hell. Imagine (or don’t) a squatty potty, with no running water, and used by men eating hard-boiled eggs on a ferry. Well, I had to pee, so I went with it. The stench stayed with me for 30 minutes, but the memories will last a lifetime. I learned upon our exit from the ferry that there was indeed a women’s toilet which I am sure had running water and fresh-cut flowers inside.
Segment #2: From Djerba to Tunis, by Plane
Things that make you wonder about the safety/security of your flight:
1. The sign over the Djerba Zarzis airport reads “ JERBA ZAR IS”
2. (Note: This is a small, old airplane with propellers.) The stewardess gets up from her take-off position and cannot open the storage/cockpit door because some baggage in the storage area has shifted upon take-off.
3. Mid-flight, some guy in plain clothes walks up to the cockpit door, opens it, goes inside, and apparently hangs out in the cockpit for a while.
Segment #3: The Tunis Airport
Everyone is smoking when there are clearly posted signs advising against it and regular recorded announcements “reminding you that smoking is strictly prohibited inside the terminal.”
My flight is departing from Gate 50. I roll into Gate 50 and everyone is staring at me. I look at the board and it says Benghazi. A guy behind me laughs and says “Libya! Libya!”. I turn and scamper away back into the smoke cloud. Indeed my flight is departing from Gate 50 and eventually it shows up on the board. The Benghazi flight is just delayed by four hours.
While the Benghazians are boarding, I hear shouted out from across the gate “Allahu Akbar.” For a moment, I wait for my end. Then I realized it was just a religious man encouraging others to come pray with him.
Segment #4: From Tunis to Cairo, by Plane
Surprise, no one wants to fly to Cairo in an impending military coup. I relax with a row to myself.
Segment #5: The Cairo Airport
Actually, it was not as crowded as I expected. I enjoyed observing a flashy, hairless Egyptian man with more buttons undone than done on his crisp, white shirt as he hit on a similarly classy lady at the airport bar.
Segment #6: From Cairo to Doha, by Plane
An actual surprise, even in an impending military coup, no one wants to take a flight from Cairo departing at 11:15pm and arriving at 3:30am. I relax with a row to myself.
Segment #7: Doha
It’s like really hot.
